Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, and the Destruction of America

When I was little, and when I was not so little, all I dreamed about was being a celebrity. It was the end all of success. As a celebrity, you'd be praised for being unique (albeit slightly unique), and everyone would love you.

Fast forward to a reality check... those celebs that find themselves on the covers of the gossip rags often once were the same ones that I'd envy, except their lives and careers had spilled sour.

Poor Britney Spears. She certainly has some kind of mental condition, and it's obvious that it's not helped by being smothered by Paparazzi everywhere she goes. Her family (that is, parents and sibling) are apparently not the most stable bunch, but Britney made it big with some spunk and rock hard abs. Could she sing? Well, not really. She could hit the right notes and had a voice that you couldn't forget, for better or worse. But Britney had what we all wanted... innocence with a serving of sex appeal. Even if we hated her music, we wanted to be Britney... or like Britney. Same goes for Lindsey Lohan. We saw both of these girls when they actually were young and innocent (well, so they'd like us to believe). And then... well, they've grown up in the spotlight, and it seems that spotlight was just a bit too bright.

It's unfortunate, but I think we need celebrities like that to use for public floggings, as otherwise the rest of us minions would think that their lives were perfect because they were rich. Apparently, money doesn't heal all wounds. Sometimes it's pouring fuel on an already painful flame.

I feel for Britney and Lindsey. They feel like it's part of their job and their image to go out and party. To be a young celebrity in Hollywood. Only when drugs enter into the picture, you lose control. I've seen friends get eaten up by drugs, and it certainly is just as much a problem in Hollywood... where celebrities have enough money to overdose daily on the most gourmet offerings of the latest designer drug batch.

But who could blame them for needing that rush? If as Americans we hold celebrities on the top of the totem pole of what we wish we could be (which I assume is the case for other people too, since celebrities are still featured on the covers of magazines, and talking about celebrities has made stars of once-Internet-nobodies like Perez Hilton, those GoFugYourself girls, etc) then once you've made it to stardom... what's left? Better party it up when the going's good.

Not all celebrities turn into psychotic drug addicts, of course, but those that do surely get the most press. Is it good for their careers? If they can make a sober comeback, possibly. Everyone wants to root for the fallen celebrity, despite how much he or she may make fun of this person. If a celebrity truly falls from their divine status and cannot return, then that pops the fantasy of flawed perfection.

Truth is... Britney, Lindsey... they're just human. Sure they happened to have been born with extra lovely looks, and with some luck and being in the right place at the right time, they guaranteed themselves a future in show business.

It's funny how easy it is to forget that what they do is their JOB. Sure it's a pretty awesome job that pays well, but so is being the CEO of your own corporation, or a successful venture capitalist. The job comes with a lot of negatives as well. Privacy? Forget it. You're working around the clock as a celebrity. From the moment you leave your house to the second you shut the door and close the curtains.

Accepting this changes my extreme, almost obsessive desire to become famous. Or, now I'd like to become famous for writing something brilliant... doing something interesting... but I don't know if I'd want to be so (un)fortunate to be one of Hollywood's young actresses. If you've got one life to live, there's not perfect way to live it. If you're rich, you have nothing to work for. You've been raised on attention, so you need to work for the attention. Look at Paris Hilton. She doesn't need to work, but she does because without work she'd be just like any other NY socialite.

A few months ago I spent some time with my grandmother who lives in Las Vegas. At breakfast one morning, she spent some time complaining about Hollywood today, saying that everyone these days is ugly. I went through a list of celebrities and she said they're all ugly (except she liked Halle Berry for some reason). Anyway, I know the idea of "beauty" has changed over time, because a lot of these actor and actresses she found ugly happened to be my personal idea of aesthetic perfection. Still, I get her point -- beauty is no longer about health and youth exactly. Sometimes people admire the beauty of those who do lots of coke because Kate Moss chic is unbearably still in.

And all of that makes us, the American public, especially the female half of that, spend oodles of money trying to make ourselves look like these people who have lots of money. It's a vicious cycle of consumerism that is at the heart of America. Capitalism would still exist without celebrity, but what would it look like?

I'm not sure of the answer. In college, I took a class called the "sociology of celebrity" and it was by far the best class in my four years at school. Dissecting celebrity culture, both from the side of the everyman and the celebrity, is understanding America.

I actually read the entire textbook from cover to cover...