Follow Up to: Tips for Making More Money Long-Term for 20 Somethings

A few days ago, I wrote a post about how to make more money over your entire life. The trick? Believe you "need" more money than you do now and approach your life's choices based on that need... then save the difference in what you get vs. what you actually need. Always live below your means. Ok, this isn't revolutionary advice, but I got some interesting comments from my readers, and I wanted to respond.

Anonymous #1, from Kentucky, said "I like the idea behind this advice. I also agree to an extent. On the other hand, it's not just career choice that will determine the amount that you make, but geographic location as well. A $120,000 per year job to you is more like $60,000 per year here."

Meanwhile...

Anonymous #2 said "that was the most ridiculous thing I've ever read! ...No offense, but you are still a kid and have a lot to learn. Don’t get me wrong, you are way ahead of most other 20-somethings (not hard to do in this day & age, though!), but be careful about advice you are giving (or taking). Also – you could reach your $100K goal MUCH easier if you moved to a place with a lower cost of living."

While one commenter loved my advice and the other hated it, both had a similar comment on how my choice to live in California makes it more difficult for me to reach my financial goals. I disagree.

I've lived in many different parts of the country through my life, though perhaps never the places where the lifestyle is extremely cheap. But I'm not sure how much a move would save me, unless I moved back home and lived with my parents.

My rent right now is $630. With utilities that adds up to maybe $700 a month. Granted, in Detroit, according to Craigslist ads, I could get similar room in a 3br shared apartment for around $350 a month. I don't know Detroit so can't compare my nice neighborhood to the offerings on CL, but let's just say the rents for a room are half what I'm paying now.

Everyone seems to think living in California is impossibly expensive. It's not. It IS expensive if you want to buy a house here. Gas is a little higher than in the rest of the country. State tax is higher than some other states. Ok, it's not the cheapest place to live. But there are also a lot of opportunities for work here, especially in the areas where it costs more to live. So salaries do, to an extent, compensate for the difference. As my first commenter said, $60k in Tennessee is maybe equal to $120k in California. I'm not sure I agree with that math, but there's obviously some truth in it. I COULD move to a cheaper place, make less money, spend less on rent, and save the same amount. But I would have a very hard time finding a job in my industry outside of this area. If you're in an industry you can work in anywhere, then by all means, live somewhere more affordable. That doesn't change my argument that you should always think you need more money than you do, and that this thinking will help you earn more in the long run.

Now, commenter #2, who has worked as a hiring manager, made a good point. He/she said that once a candidate for a job refused to take the job unless given $5k more than the offer. Eventually, the company hired someone else. OK, I never said "be stupid." If you really want a job, are unemployed, and have no other options (if you "walk" will you be unemployed for another six months? Or are there other opportunities on the table) then take the job. My logic still works, though. If you think you need $x more per year, then you might get a side job, or seek out freelance income to meet your goals. You don't NEED to make the extra money through your day job. It doesn't hurt to push a little in negotiating but always be realistic. I took a big risk during my negotiations for my current job and it paid off. I was really nervous that it wouldn't, and I got lucky. I also knew that I was by far the top candidate for the role and my company really wanted to hire me. I also did not get what I asked for, but I quickly accepted a realistic offer that was still much higher than I was making at my previous job.

In comparison, I look at friends of mine in their 20s who are living at home or living in cheap apartments and thinking that they only need to make enough to cover life month to month. The fact is that your future salary is largely determined by what you make before it (not always, but having a strong salary history helps.) If you spend your 20s making a smaller income because you do not see a reason to strive for more earnings, then you will be at a disadvantage in your 30s. Again, I'm not saying this works for every field... some fields have set salaries. You can still make extra money. If you're fortunate enough to not be in debt in your 20s, take advantage of this and save as much as you can. The best way to save more is to make more. That's the math I believe in.

Commenter #2 also asked "Do you have a net worth goal you are aiming for by the time you are 30? Don't you think NET WORTH is a better goal than just "savings?" I keep track of mine yearly. I just looked back to what it was when I was 30. I did NOT have $100K in the bank then, but the net worth was $170K."

I am not sure what factors into Net Worth to be honest. Right now I'd say my "Net Worth" is my bank account... that is, the combination of my savings, Roth IRA, stocks, CDs, and other investment accounts. I don't own a home (again, that's one of the things that is too expensive for me, living in California) but I own a used car (it's worth maybe $2k, but I don't bother including that in my networth because I'll use it until it stops working) and a few other gadgets and things that I don't count.

So, commenter #2, what was that extra $70k including for your net worth at 30? Did that include a house? That makes complete sense, especially since you have a family. Since I'm single and could move to a job in another city at any moment, it doesn't make sense for me to own. So my whole Net Worth IS my bank accounts.

Thanks for all your thoughtful comments!

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Should I Rent Forever?

I've been fairly happy renting thus far in my life. At 26 years old, I've never really contemplated owning my own place until now. My rental costs have varied greatly over the years...

2004-2005: Chicago, 2br apartment shared w/ 3 people in a nice area. I lived in the living room w/ a curtain for a door for $460 a month. I think some utilities were included in that too.

2005: lived in DC, where I rented a room with a semi-private bath for $800 / month. Utilities were included. Then I moved to California, where my first place was "free" but it was really part of my internship stipend. Soon after I moved again... to a 4br, 2ba apartment shared with 3 other girls (and their friends on occasion) for $480 / month. When I got a full-time job, I decided I deserved my own place, even though I was making about $35k per year. So I found a studio with utilities included for $900 / month. In a year, the rent for that studio went up to $1100 / month. Even though I knew this was a lot, I didn't want to deal with moving and I liked where I lived. So I stayed one year. Then they raised the rent to $1350 / month and I decided to leave the apartment complex and look for a more affordable, room-share situation. I found a place in a nice condo complex for rent with a smaller personal living area but a nicer all-around apartment for $635 / month plus utilities split between myself and two other girls.

The problem is that now I live far from my job so the cost of the monthly commute is about $230 / month for parking at the public transit station plus the train, and that's not including the gas it costs me to get to and from the train. So... you could say now I'm spending $300 / month on transportation, or $1000 / month on "rent" including transportation and utilities. So I ask myself... should I move? If I do move, how much should I pay for a place? While my roommates and I aren't best friends, we get along fairly well, and I've gone through my share of roomie nightmares in the past, so I'm not in the mood to get into any of that mess while just getting into the jive of things at my new job. Still, the cost of the commute plus the actual commute (about 1 hour 15 minutes each way) will eventually get to me. I could even find a place that costs the same or cheaper slightly closer to work... maybe 30 minutes closer... because there are some areas that are not as nice as where I live now that are on the way towards the public transportation stations. I really should be living there. But I just don't want to deal with moving.

Then, the idea always pops in my mind... what about buying a home? Well, that's really not possible right now... the average costs of a 1br condo here are like $600,000. Given that I only have $50k in savings at the moment... it will take me a long time before I could even afford a down payment on that. And the more I think about it, the more I realize owning a home... at least in this area... may never make any sense. It's just too expensive. I look at how much my parents still pay for their house after all these years in mortgage and property taxes and homeowners insurance and think, wow, I should really just rent forever.

Of course, when I have kids one day, I guess it would be nice to own a home. I liked growing up in one place all my life... I think it would have been really tough to move around a lot, being as shy as I was. Then again, lots of families move a lot and they do just fine. And you don't have to move all the time in a rental, you just never know when your landlord will decide they need you to leave. I guess that on its own is enough reason to consider owning. But really, how can anyone afford home ownership here? This year I've hit six figures... I may even make $150k this year, and that isn't near enough for me to own a condo or a home in this area. I think I'd have to be making something like $300k / year before I could even really consider owning.

Do you own a home? Do you rent? What's your monthly cost for owning or renting? Why do you own... or rent?

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The Rich Get Hit Hardest

My aunt and uncle are in the upper class. They have a really nice house in a really nice town in a really nice part of the Bay Area. They have two kids. They have lost hundreds of thousands of dollars in the stock market. My uncle, who is self-employed with a once-thriving web marketing business, is struggling to retain clients. My aunt, who is in charge of a profitable department at an otherwise struggling company, just got a 10% paycut. With an expensive mortgage, even six figure and then some income isn't enough to pay for their lifestyle. So they're watching their spending. They are worried about just how bad this all is going to get.

While I've "lost" over $9000 so far in stocks, I feel lucky. I have a job. I make $60k a year, plus any freelance income I can bring in here and there. While I'm still not the best at managing my money (I just spent $100 at Sephora on a few eyeshadows and lipstick... I like to think of it as "stimulating the economy") my cost of living is not that high. I don't have any kids, my rent is cheap (well, at least compared to what I was spending living on my own before I moved in with two roommates, and I don't buy much other than the occasional overpriced pair of jeans or high-pigmented and pricey eyeshadow. So my life is pretty cheap. And I like it that way.

For everyone who has a family to take care of... a mortgage to pay... this recession is really, really bad. It makes me want to never have kids or up my desire to purchase a house. Sure my room is tiny, I have to put up with my roommates for better or worse, and I don't get to cook naked (which is seriously the biggest downfall of living with roommates), but... my life is affordable. Even as I lose thousands in the stock market. If I had kids... a house... I'd be screwed right now.

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The Housing Bailout: Responding to a Reader Comment

I always appreciate thoughtful reader feedback, and always enjoy reading what you guys think about what I have to say. Reader Rachel Elizabeth, who noted that she works in real estate, left a comment about my last post on the housing bailout.

She writes... "not all of the people that are being "bailed out" are people that bought houses that they couldn't afford."

Some of her friends, who are also realtors, were making good money back when the market was up, but with the housing market crash they just don't have enough money to pay their own mortgages. Also, she points out that there are a lot of people who were able to pay a 20% downpayment and then later got laid off or reduced hours and are in trouble and in need of bailout help. She also points out that the government is offering a $8000 tax credit for first-time home buyers.

I can't say those people don't deserve a bailout. To be 100% honest I'm bitter because in the Bay Area, $8000 is pocket change when it comes to affording a house. You're supposed to buy a house that's 3 times your yearly income. Granted, I'm 25, and my income hopefully will increase over the years. But I make pretty good money now (and I'm grateful for that) and even with the housing crash, there is no way I could afford a house here. The cheapest 2br condos in the area go for $600,000. Following the income rule, I'd need to be making $200k a year just to afford that. At my $60k salary, I really should only buy a condo/house worth $180k. You can't get anything for that around here, except maybe a closet.

My good friend in NJ recently bought a house with her fiance because she felt she needed to own a house right away to be all grown up and successful. Then, she got laid off, and even though her fiance has a good job they're struggling with payments. And their house is much less expensive (for its size) than a comparable purchase in the Bay Area. They paid $400k for something that would easily be $1.5M around here, give or take a few thousand.

I've kind of accepted that I will have to rent for the rest of my life. I just will never be able to afford to own. I grew up with the idea in my head that if I couldn't afford a house, I was a failure. These days, it's not just the American dream, it's the American necessity. But I'm trying to get over thinking that -- you can be a success and live the American dream and rent for the rest of your life. Can't you?

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The Housing Bailout: It's unfair, it's necessary, it's ridiculous

They say a housing bailout is necessary. For all the people who purchased homes they couldn't afford at to-good-to-be-true rates, here's your bailout. I'm generally a liberal but this is going too far.

The problem stems from how the American dream is so closely linked to owning a house. If you can't afford a house - don't buy one. Renting is not the end of the world. It's a lot cheaper. Wait until you can afford a reasonable 30-year fixed mortgage to buy a house. That's what I plan to do.

Of course, given that the government is going to bail everyone out who can't afford their poor choices, it seems I may have been better off buying a condo years ago. I could be facing foreclosure now, with my home underwater. I could be begging the government to bail me out.

I understand that when you have children the situation changes a bit. You want stability, a house that you'll own, and not have to worry about moving if your landlord decides to kick you out. Ok, I get it. I feel for you if that's the situation you're in. But I still think that when it comes down to it, Americans need to be responsible for their own actions.

God, I sound like a Republican.

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My Dream House

When I was a little girl, I dreamed of one day living in a house with a big backyard, a view of the ocean (or at least twinkling lights), a heated pool, hot tub, a grande foyer, marble, a mix of contemporary architecture and classic detailing, each room decorated and designed to perfection. These days, I'm a bit more reasonable when it comes to contemplating a home purchase, but my irrationality is kick-starting my savings for a down payment.

Actually buying a house may be years off, but one day I hope to do it. I have friends (who live in more affordable areas, and who generally are engaged or married) already taking the mortgage plunge. I'll admit my jealousy, a bit, but I feel much better about it when I pay my $632 rent and have the rest of my money to save.

I can deal with living in cramped quarters for cheap rent, but I'm not sure I'll be willing to make such a compromise when it comes time to seriously think about buying a house. I grew up in a mid-size home. It had a downstairs, an upstairs, 3 nice sized bedrooms (large by modern constructions standards), a master bedroom, a den, a kitchen, a living room and 3 bathrooms, not to mention an incredible, grassy backyard. Growing up in such middle-class luxury, it's tough to think about raising a family in any place smaller than that.

But, as it goes, my dream house will likely be well out of reach.

A quick peak at any local real estate guide showcases my dream house for, at minimum, $1.5 mil. That is, in the Bay Area (San Mateo County), even a tiny house goes for $800k. You're lucky to get a decent studio for $500k.

Back home in New Jersey, my parents nice house that I spent my entire childhood in isn't even worth that! So it seems if I ever hope to own the house of my dreams, or anything close to it, the Bay Area is out of that picture.

Living in the Bay Area for the past three years has made me realize just how important it is to live a place that makes you happy, beyond just an apartment or house. Here, I have so much natural beauty around me I could live in a (waterproof) cardboard box and be happy (assuming I have gym access for a shower every so often).

But then there's my hope to raise a family, two or three kids, and that takes a house big enough to fit those kids. That takes a lot of money. I don't think it will come from my won't-ask-for-a-raise boyfriend. So that means I need to start saving for a down payment, and also forcing myself to think realistically about what sort of house I will be able to afford.

For starters, I'm going to try to save $300 a month towards my down payent fund. The question is, where do I save this money? The stock market is probably a bad place for it, though it's possible this is a good time to invest the cash if I hope to put a down payment on a house in 5 to 10 years. Or maybe that's an awful idea. Maybe it should just go in an ING CD and stay there until I'm read to spend it.

The other issue is graduate school. If I decide to go, there goes my down payment, and then some. My lifetime earnings may increase, but not my purchasing power in 5 years.

I just can't fathom saving $200k for the downpayment on a $1M home. Even half of that seems impossible. Not to mention that someone making $60k is not supposed to buy a home that costs that much. What's the rule... no more than 4 times your income? Uh, I can't get ANYTHING for $240k in this area.

I could probably borrow the money from my dad's 401k once he has access to it, but as I've written before, I want to try my best to be financially independent from my parents, as I have been since graduating college. Being a spoiled kid is one thing, but you can't really be an adult until... you go into debt buying something you really want, and need, and that will make you money in the long run.

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Couch Update

We bought a couch! Well, sort of. My roommate convinced us to go in for a couch. It's not a great idea, but it's not awful either. We're getting a $150 couch. It was on Craigslist for $250, but we talked to the guy down to $150. It's a fairly nice, 4-year-old couch from Macys that was originally $1200. Instead of any one of us buying the entire couch we're splitting it $50 each. I'd really prefer not to purchase any portion of the couch, but we figured that is the best way for us to get a couch that everyone will be happy with. A free couch would likely be somewhat gross... this couch is rather nice. We could probably resell it when we move out... we could prob sell it for $100 at least. So it's not too big of a deal. The only problem is that likely one of us (me) will move out before the other two... so I'll just "lose" my $50. Except it's kind of like $50 to rent a couch for a year or so. At least. Not a bad deal. We need a couch. Our chair setup is getting so so old. 

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To Couch or Not To Couch

My roommates and I get along really well, but one area of tension is that of a couch purchase. The three of us all agree that we should get a couch, but the question of how to get it and how much to spend on it are up for negotiation.

We've been living in our nice apartment for the past seven months and never had a problem finding a seat - because we have about 13 chairs of various sizes sprawled across our living room and dining room area. But it looks, howdoyousay, ghetto. And not even ghetto fabulous.

For me, I'm fine with just chairs. Then again, I'm fine with a pile of clothes on my bedroom floor about 2 feet high. My roommates are birds of a different feather. Well, one is planning to buy a fairly nice new couch at some point in the future, and the other wants a couch now, and is willing to buy one used, but she's picky in terms of its quality. Me? I say lets get one for free off Craigslist and put some fabric over it and call it a day.

I'm pretty adamant about not going in on a couch together (that will cause a lot of unecessary drama) and I don't want to buy one on my own because I'm probably going to move in a year or two. The other roommates both are willing to buy a couch, but neither can agree on when or what to buy. I kind of feel bad that I'm not willing buy a couch, but it would be silly to spend money on a couch when I'll be moving who knows where in a few years. I already own a bed, a coffee table and bookshelf.

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The Spending Diaries

Ok, so I'm about two years late to post this, but it's still fairly relevant. NY Magazine did a series in 2006 called The Spending Diaries about 6 different people at different income levels, with a breakdown of where their money goes each week and how much they spend.

It's a bit annoying that their "poor" representative is a MFA candidate whose parents pay for his tuition AND housing. He's getting by on $20k just fine in various income sources above and beyond a free education and apartment.

Crazy how much all of them spend per week. I dream of being a millionaire, but if I was, I can't imagine spending as much as these people do.

Then again, I don't live in New York.

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Baby It's Cold... Inside

This is the first year that I've lived with roommates since 2004. My roommates have slightly differing points of view when it comes to frugality - most obvious when it comes to such things as heating costs this winter.

Roommate #1 is a graduate student, and sometimes frugal. She'll buy a new dress for a night out, but when it comes to the heating bill she's willing to bundle up in fleece in order to save. I have trouble sleeping when it's cold (and yes, even in California it gets cold. Sometimes colder inside than out in my new apartment) so I tend to turn the heat on a bit at night. She's not frugal to the point of turning it off, but she'd prefer to keep our heating bills down. So would I. But I also want to be able to sleep at night.

Roommate #2 is a teacher, so she makes enough money to live a fairly nice life - especially in our current 3-way apartment share arrangement. The other day, after roommate 1 requested that we use heat sparingly this winter, she told me that she grew up poor and spent most of her childhood with heat-less winters. Now that she's working, she's going to pay for heat.

For the past two winters my heating bill was included with my rent costs, so heat was not an issue. If anything, it was the summers that were painful - no one uses air conditioning in Northern Cali.

I would prefer our heating bill to stay low, but I'm not sure how low is reasonable.

How high do you turn the heat on in the winter? And how much does it cost you?

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Regarding My Relationship

A few of you responded to my last post that I sound like I'm unhappy with my current relationship. After all, I'm jealous of my friend who has an engineer for a fiancee, who is paying for her house.

Yes, I am jealous. But I also have come to a point in my life where I know money isn't everything. It isn't even necessary for happiness.

I dated an attorney for 2 years. He was in law school when we first started going out. He claimed he wasn't in it for the money, but he had a certain standard of living that it was clear he didn't want to give up. He wanted to build on that. He now owns a nice 1.5 bedroom condo in a decent area of San Francisco. I broke up with him because he was too ambitious. He cared much more about his career than his relationship. There was a coldness about him too. Robotic, almost. He was in it, even more so, for the challenge of his job, the intellectual splendor of it.

A lot of people are like this. And I respect them. And some days I want to be dating them. But really, I know that's not the life I can lead.

My current guy... despite lacking ambition... or being afraid of having ambition... is the sweetest man I have ever known. He's truly a "good" guy. I love that we could spend an entire evening cuddling and watching old episodes of some series we're trying to catch up on. Of course, the relationship isn't perfect. I'd love if he would so much as ask for a raise at work, but he won't. He lives at home, his mom has saved up enough to send him to grad school if he ever wants to go, so he doesn't need to earn much. I'm his biggest cost... he buys me food every once in a while. Without me, he practically wouldn't even have to work. He didn't... for a year after he graduated college, he didn't work. It took me nagging and him being annoyed at me nagging and me stopping nagging for him to get an internship and then finally a job.

So yea, that bugs me a bit. But it's not like I'm Ms. Ambitious either. I've gotten "let go" more times than I can count because depression or anxiety got in the way. I happen to be doing... well, pretty good right now, but that can change at any moment. My lawyer boyfriend really looked down on me when I was going through a dark time in my life, when I wasn't sure what I was doing with my life. My current bf, I know he doesn't care whether I'm out there bringing in the bucks or just making ends meet. He loves me regardless. And I really do love him whether or not he makes $100k a year... or $25k.

I also am rational and know that one day, if I want to own a house or have a family, money matters. It feels like romance and a relationship should be different than the business partnership that is marriage. Yea, you're super lucky if you get both, but I don't like to mix my love life with business. It always ends badly.

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My Friend's Giant Brick House

When I went back home over the Thanksgiving Holiday, I spent a little bit of time with my childhood friend, Sara*, who always had a bit of competition going with me. We were frienemies for much of our adolescent years, but as we got older we started to get along again.

This trip home I got to see her brand new house. While she's still in school, she's engaged to an engineer who seems to be footing most of the bill for the residence. To give Sara credit, she's also working full time while studying full time. She's also terribly judgmental and seems to think that if one is renting it's silly because you should just buy a house. She also thinks her house isn't big enough, despite that only two people will be living there and it has four bedrooms (two will be used for offices, one for a guest room.)

The other thing is, back on the east coast, you can get a lot more for your money. Her house, which cost about $475k, costs as much as a studio does out here in The Bay Area. Nuts. So she's living an hour from NYC and can get a damn house for that. A nice house. With a pool in the backyard.

She is doing tons of renovations to the house (well, her fiance is... he's redoing the entire inside.) She's in charge of the design. He does the work. They both seem fairly happy about it. They own a home. Sara owns a home. She's 25. Like me.

I got back to California a few days ago. The bright winter sun warmed my skin as I stepped out the door in the morning. I took my daily drive down 280, a highway which has a beauty that never grows old despite how often I drive it. I smiled because here I feel so happy, and what makes me happy here is entirely free. The nature, my boyfriend, the sun. Even my job - for the most part - makes me happy here. So I figure back east people need huge houses to decorate because everything else is so fugly. Or at least in Jersey, where I grew up.

Still, I'd like to own a house. At least, I think I would. But I'm not dating an engineer. I'm dating a guy who makes $17 an hour and refuses to ask for a raise. It makes me nervous that who I'm with defines partly what my life will be. When, or if I'll ever be able to afford a house. And I'm jealous of my friend who is marrying a very charming engineer. And I wonder if I ought to be strategic when it comes to love over the long term. Or if I should just deal with the fact that I'll be part of the disappearing middle class, able to rent but probably not to own. These sorts of things have me rather attracted to any men I meet who have that breadwinner sort of vibe. That's a dangerous thing to feel... especially when there are so many men out there who take pride in making money. My boyfriend, on the other hand, would be more than content living in a cardboard box... as long as he had access to a daily shower.

So with him, it's up to me to make my fortune. To earn it. And I don't trust that I'm the type who can make that kind of money. I mean, enough to buy a house. A house in the bay area. With a view of something other than another house. And a little bit of land. And such.

What is my American Dream? Do I need to date someone different to achieve it? Should I be envious of my friend... or just determined to prove I can make enough money to support myself and live a life of relative luxury?

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Security Deposit Bounced - IRX on Bank Statement

My last apartment sent my security deposit to my permanent mailing address... in NJ. So it took a few months for me to get that check. I cashed it a few weeks ago, but apparently it was too old, and it bounced. I saw "IRX" on my bank statement for $585 and didn't know what that meant, but thanks to Google I figured it out.

So now, on top of voting against Prop 8 and for Obama, tomorrow I have to figure out how to get my security deposit. It will be a busy day.

Speaking of apartments and housing, my current living arrangement is great. Moving here was the best decision I've made in a long, long time. I'm saving so, so much money. Instead of living in my last apartment, which would have cost me $1200 a month this year (!!!) + cable and internet, I'm paying just $612.50 a month + about $50 - $60 for bills. So $700 compared to $1300 a month. Sure, I have less space, but I don't really need that much space. And living with roommates is pretty fun, as long as the roommates are fun and laid back.

Stocks are slowly going up. I'm worried for Obama. That's all for today.

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Moving on Down, and Saving My Pennies

My rent has gone from $1050 a month to about $650 a month. This move, which is saving me a good $400+ a month, is probably the best decision I've made in my life. Even though my gas $ will be going up, I still think I'm going to end up saving at least $300 a month, and that doesn't even include the additional $250 that I would have had to pay if I stayed at my apartment and accepted the ridiculous rent increase.

It's kind of weird making these smart financial decisions now. I always relied on my dad to make those in the past. I didn't go totally overboard on my living situation previously, but given how much I was making, I definitely should have gotten roommates. Now, I'm making enough to live alone, barely, but I've realized that just because you make enough money to spend it, doesn't mean you actually should.

Instead, I'm going to really focus on saving money now. I'm pretty sure I want to go back to grad school at some point, prob for a degree in Human Computer Interaction (Berkeley has an awesome program) and I'm starting to take programming classes at the local community college (which happens to be a few minute walk from my new apartment) to make sure that's the right path for me - but I'm pretty sure it is. I need to learn the programming side and the research side, and then I'm ready to become a key player in web 3.0...

In the meantime, I'm dealing with some other things. Speaking of my father and his wisdom, it won't be around for much longer. He was recently diagnosed with advanced stage prostate cancer. I knew he probably had cancer, but wasn't really prepared to hear this. Basically that means he has a few years to live, at best. Well, what this means, besides all the emotional havoc it's having on me and my family, is that all that money I'm saving on not renting the more expensive place might be spent on plane tickets. It costs about $400 to fly across the country these days. Ugh.

And it really is going to be time for me to step in and help my parents with sorting out finances for the future. My mom is such a duntz when it comes to that sort of stuff - I get my bad spending habits from her. My dad's mostly a saver, and I'd like to be more like him. It makes me nervous to think that I'm going to have to take over for him, at some point.

Meanwhile, just the thought of losing him is really hard to deal with. We're not really that close, and for most of my life I hated the guy, but he's done a lot for me and my family outside of the mental and physical abuse, including working hard for most of his life and making sure we had enough money to live very comfortably. It's tough to know that he's worked so hard for most of his years - he just retired like a year or two ago - even though he is only in his late 50s - and now he's looking at the end. He won't get to enjoy retirement or that huge 401k he's accumulated. Or he likely won't... besides facing the fact that the cancer treatment will stop working in 1-10 years, he also is dealing with so many other medical issues. He can't even enjoy his last few years on this earth, because all he does is sleep all day. I can't tell how much is because he's weak and how much is just depression. Regardless, it makes me sad to think of the life he's led, working so hard, married to a woman he doesn't love, saving up for retirement... and then, he gets to retirement, and he's sick, and he's dying...

It makes you think twice about the value of saving so much for so long. Not that I won't be putting money away for retirement or focusing on getting and staying healthy so I can live to enjoy it, but... some people don't make it that far. And our entire society is set up to work and work and save and save... but then what? What if that's all you get?

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Live Within Your Means

While being interviewed for a television news feature about frugal living and saving money, I realized that despite being fully aware of ways to save, I'm just not doing enough when it comes to saving money. With gas prices rising, and my rent being what it was, I was breaking even at best most months, or covering the prior month's expenditures with my next month's savings.

While that's better than going into debt, it won't get me the things I want to save for - getting my teeth fixed ($10k), laser hair removal ($6k?), a condo/house (an $80k downpayment?), and grad school ($120k?). That's a lot of money I have to save above and beyond the basic emergency fund and other living costs.

As many of you know, my rent was skyrocking up to $1300 this year and while I could pay that with my current income, it would basically cost me my savings plan.

So I left my apartment, without knowing where my next home would be. This month I'm staying with a friend for a measly $350, as she's being so kind to let me crash in her spare bedroom. That's helping me make up a little of what I spent on my vacation in Israel... I spent way too much there, figuring I could make it up when I returned and found a cheaper place to rent. That, indeed, is what I'm going to do.

I found a place that I like, and it has a lot of the features I was looking for. And my rent is going from $1050 to about $670 per month, after utilities (except internet/cable). I'll be splitting the internet & cable bill 3 ways, so instead of it costing me $100 per month, it will be just $30. Total savings, based on last years rent, is about $350 per month, or $3750 per year. Based on the rent I was supposed to pay this year, I'm saving $600 per month, or $7200 per year.

While that's not the $80k I need for the downpayment on a house, or even the $10k to get my teeth fixed, it's a lot better than wasting that money on rent.

My new room is small. I'll be sharing a bathroom. I'll be paying a bit more in gas to actually get places since it's close to a freeway but not that close to work. Biking to work is no longer an option. But the place, for the price, is rather nice. It has a washer and dryer in unit, plus a dishwasher, and a nice community pool. The complex is a mix of owners and renters, so the property is well maintained. The owners of the specific condo that I'm renting are supposedly nice (I haven't met them yet) and haven't even raised the rent in a while - much better than the money-hungry apartment management company that took over my last complex and those $250 a year rent increases!

So... while my savings has depleted itself a bit during the last few months, I'm confident I can make back most of that money within 12 months. Or at least I hope I can. And then the real saving will begin.

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An Update on the Little Big Move

I'm moving out of my apartment. This weekend. I'm kind of unhappy about it. But deep down, and not-so deep down, I know it's for the best. Spending about $1300 a month on rent, even with utilities included, even with a job that pays me enough where it's possible, makes no sense at all.

What I need to do is save up for a house. Saving up for a house in this area requires a lot of sacrifice. It might even be logistically impossible. But I want to try.

Next month I'm cutting my "room" costs by staying with a friend. It's just a temporary thing en route to my new, yet-to-be-determined place. I offered to pay her rent, but the most she'll accept is $350. She prob should take more, but I said I'd buy her lots of meals so hopefully at some point I won't feel like I'm jipping her. Add to that about $200 in storage fees, and my monthly rent, at least for July, has been cut in half.

The big question is - how much will I spend on my next real place. There are so many options and - as I'm a bit picky when it comes to (everything) where I live, I find that most of the places I like are going to be pricey. Maybe not the full $1300 my current studio would cost me to stay in, but not far from it.

I've seen a few places so far. The only one I liked at all was a small garage-turned-studio in the back of someone's house, but it was missing one very important thing - a closet. I've got too many clothes to live sans closet. Oh, and it didn't have a stove either. Just a hot plate. But it's not like I really cook all that often (though I plan to) so I guess I could deal without the stove.

Other than one place I tried to check out yesterday (the guy stood me up, hmmph), I've put off looking at places until after I get settled into my friend's house. I'm looking prob for an Aug 1 move-in now, so most of the places haven't been posted yet.

I really wish I had enough money for a down payment right now. There are so many houses on the market around here, it's ridiculous. I went down one street today and within a single block, three houses were for sale. It's nuts!

But instead I'm going to waste more money on rent for the indeterminate future. It's not the end of the world. I just feel like now I should be living in some shit hole and spending very little in order to save my pennies. And by shit-hole I mean "nice shit-hole in the good part of town." Heck, the place I lived in for my first few months here was only $580 a month, utilities included. Of course, I had 3 roommates - 4 if you count the roommates' boyfriend that lived there practically, and for a while there the gal who was supposed to be providing me with "utilities included" wifi decided she didn't want to deal with getting it fixed (uh, and I needed it for my job). But that place was in a really nice area. So these things are possible to find. Maybe not at $580 in the renter's market right now, but maybe something around $800...

I saw one 2br/2ba that was right around the corner from my worth that was going for $850, utilities included. Pretty good deal. The apartment complex had a pool too. But it was kind of run down. And the smell was getting to me.

See, I'm picky.

I can move further south and get something nicer for the same price. If I get a place near the train that'd be ideal. I don't know if I'd sell my car (what would it be worth now that I've banged it up so much driving into inanimate objects?) but I think I'd still save money not paying for gas. It's at $4.70 a gallon around here. Not driving sounds like a really good plan if I want to save any money at all.

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It's Official - I'm Moving!

Looking at the lease renewal letter with the $250 rent increase one more time, I decided I really have to move. So I wrote up my 30-days notice letter, turned it into the apartment office, and clenched my teeth knowing that means I'll have one week to move out when I get back after my trip next month.

I think this is for the best. I hope this is for the best. I'll be saving money, anyway. And given that the only way to ever be able to afford property is to live super cheaply now and save, save, save, well, that's what I'm going to have to do. I just hope I can find some place decent to move.

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Moving: The Latest On My Decision

I've decided to move.*

(*"decided" in the dictionary of me = decided for today. That could change tomorrow.)

I don't want to live in a super-cheap living space, per say, but there are a lot of big-ticket items I want to buy within the next few years (including cosmetic teeth work and a condo), and spending $1300 a month just means that my dream purchases will not be possible.

I looked at a place for about $960 that I like, but it's a bit out of the way and I feel like if I'm going to move, I might as well try to get something even cheaper than that. I'm not sure how cheap I can go... The $960 place at least has its own bathroom (just a shower, no bath), and anything less than that will undoubtedly be a shared bathroom situation.

There are plenty of random roomshares on Craigslist for about $500-$700, and some of them even include utilities, but the majority of them do not have kitchen "privileges." I don't really understand how using a kitchen can be a privilege, it's not like you're at college with a cafeteria to eat at. Not that I use my kitchen all that much other than to microwave something, but I still think I ought to get a place with a kitchen.

It's looking like I'll just move out at the end of June and look for a place in July. If I do manage to find a place for "cheap" I'm going to really be careful not to overspend throughout the year and instead to really focus on saving. That way I can save up to get my teeth fixed, maybe get some laser hair removal for my face, and finally one day buy a condo.

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Ridiculous to Stay, A Pain in the Ass to Go

Ah, it's a beautiful Saturday morning in my lovely studio apartment. The spring air is keeping the room cool - in a few weeks it will be piping hot outside, with the heat somehow collecting in between the walls of my studio.

In the background of my waking state is TLC's "My First Home." A couple is looking for a home in the Bay Area, and they've found one they loved.

Meanwhile, I search Craigslist ads vigorously. It's not that I'll find a place to move today, as my move-in date is July 1 at earliest, but I'm still trying to decide whether to leave my complex for a more affordable option or stay here and deal with a tight budget and less savings.

When I moved in and the studio cost $905 including utilities, it wasn't that much of a jump from the $700 + utilities room share options available on the market. For $100 extra dollars, approx, I could have a place of my own. That was a no brainer.

Then rents went up to $1050 and I decided to stay. It was a shock, surely, but it still seemed like a pretty good deal given my options.

$1300 - is about double what I could be paying for a room share situation. I could even compromise and get a room and bathroom in a 2br/2ba condo apartment for less than the $1300.

Moving is such a pain in the ass, though. I could hypothetically "move" for little cost, if I can get some friends to help. As far as furniture goes, I don't have much. The only large thing I'm sold on keeping is my bed, since I bought that new for a whopping $800 two years ago (I decided after 6 months on a used futon with poor support, I deserved a good night sleep). I have a large bookshelf I got at Target a few months ago and it's really heavy - but it would be a shame to toss that! Other than the bed, bookshelf, and some small tables, I have a piece of crap IKEA coffee table that started to fall apart before I put it together (though it's functional) and a large horizontal dresser that I could part with - I'm not sure anyone would want to buy it, but I'd consider trying to sell it on Craiglist. I have plenty of room in my closet now for my clothes, and I'd hope that wherever I move would have at least this much closet space. Then there's a TV, a printer, a microwave, and other odds and ends. I really don't have that much stuff. It's still a bitch to move, but it's not like I'm moving a house worth of life. It's just whatever I could fit in a studio for the past two years.

Also, having less space might be good for me. It would keep me organized as there wouldn't be places to hide things. Heh.

The downside of getting a roommate is - well - obviously enough to have me living in a studio currently. Noise. Roommate drama. Not being able to cook naked in the kitchen. These things are hard to compromise on. :)

My biggest fear is that I won't find anything I like. I have some cushion. If I decide to move - I'd come back to California around June 20-something, and I'd have that time to finish getting out of my apartment. I'd put my things into storage and move in with my good friend who has offered up her second bedroom. I'll pay her rent, but it will be way less than what it would cost to stay in my studio in August. $1300 versus, maybe $500 or something (plus whatever it costs to put my things in storage for a month.) That will cover the 2 weeks in June that I can't work because I'm going to be in Israel on vacation. Then I can really take some time to find a good living situation.

The real question is, how picky am I? I get anxious in so many living situations. Finally, in this light and airy studio I feel, well, at the very least calm and comfortable. The greenery outside (beyond the parking area) makes me happy. It almost reminds me of home, back east. I love waking up here.

But is it the stupidest thing in the world not to move? If I did move, I'd look for a place ideally that costs less than what I'm paying now, so I could pay under $1000, and I'd put any extra money between that and the $1300 I would be paying for my studio into a special down payment fund. I'm tired of renting, and dealing with yearly rent increases.

I just wish I felt more settled. All of my friends are getting engaged and married. Buying homes. Me? Well, I've been in a relationship for two years. We joke about moving in together one day but we're talking more apartment than house. He's going to grad school in fall 2009, and who knows where I'll be. That's why it really doesn't make sense for me to buy anything right now. Even though the prices for condos in the area are coming down while rents are going up, up, up.

The more I think about it, the more I realize the only logical option is to move. I could be saving $500 a month if I find a place for $800, or $6000 a year. $6000 a year is nothing to shake a stick at. That's a huge chunk of change to go to my downpayment fund. Even if it's $4000 and I get a slightly nicer place, it's still a lot of money.

*sigh* - I just... wish there was an obvious option hitting me on the head. But life is never so black and white.

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Is Moving Worth It?

As many of you know, my rent has gone up $400 in the past two years. That, alone, should be enough to get me out of this $1300 a month studio apartment.

But looking at the apartment rental listings on Craigslist, there really isn't much for anything less. And at least this is utilities included for $1300 a month.

Going from $1050 a month to $1300 a month is definitely going to mess up my budget. I finally was making enough to do some serious saving (so that one day I could buy a house, god forbid) and this price increase basically makes that impossible - unless I manage to get a job that pays even better than my current job, which is probably possible, but I love my current job, and it pays pretty well, and I'm so happy working for this company, and I don't want my rent price to control my career.

It's possible I can find a place cheaper. There are studios occasionally on the market for anywhere from $900 to $1200 in the area. By area I mean anywhere from South San Francisco to Sunnyvale. The "SF Peninsula." Silicon Valley. Where the majority of people who live here are engineers making bank, and the rest of us are, well, half-wishing we were engineers.

Getting a roommate seems like the only logical thing to do right now. I don't do well with roommates. Living alone has taken my depression and thrown it out the window. For the most part.

Lucky for me, my friend volunteered her second bedroom as a place for me to live in July. That's very nice of her. I'll pay her rent, of course, and I'll save some money because I won't be paying $1050 or $1300 - what I would be paying if I stay in my current place. I can't stay there forever, but a month will probably be ok. She has a big dog and I don't get along that well with most dogs. But maybe I'll make friends with the dog in July.

So if I decide to move out, I'll pack up most of my stuff before I leave for my trip, and then put all my furniture into storage when I get back at the end of June. In July I'd do my apartment shopping and, fingers crossed, I'd find something decent that's a good amount less than $1300 a month so the entire moving situation was worth it.

Given, I'm somewhat picky about my living space. I like light in my apartment. I work from home most of the time, so I need a place where I can be comfortable working. A place that isn't too small. I get really claustrophobic in teeny tiny studios. My current studio is nice and large. It would be nice to have a balcony or patio. It would be nice to have a second room to make my office, so I could deduct that portion of the rent on my taxes. I'd probably turn the bedroom of a 1br into an office and keep the living room set up as a "studio." I hope the IRS wouldn't mind that I store my clothes in my office closet.

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