Graduate School: Still an Option, But is it Worth It?

I'm not an academic. Since I was young, I couldn't focus in class, I rarely completed my homework, and while I supposedly had a lot of potential and was at once point dubbed "gifted" by the public school system, academia was never my forte.

So why, now that I've earned a college degree and made a career for myself, still long to return to the Ivy Tower? And what would I return for?

I'm still torn between options, including whether to apply at all. On a pure rational front, I'd be best off getting an MBA if I could manage to score high on the GMATs. At this point I think my experience has a shot at canceling out my less-than-exceptional undergraduate transcripts, but the GMAT would be a toughie.

But does an MBA even make sense for me? I've worked with many people who have MBAs, and many who don't. I've been managed by MBAs and I've been managed by engineers-turned-marketers and artists-turned-non-profit-owners-turned-business-women. I've been managed by people who get it and people who don't, people who succeed by pure luck and others by pure talent, and others who fail for all the wrong reasons. So why get an MBA?

Partially, I want to do it for myself to prove I can. It would look great on my resume (if I go to a top 10 school which, again, is not exactly an easy feat given my overall credentials.) I'd spend two years focused on learning about business -- and maybe I'd even learn something practical to apply in the real world. Mostly, I'd feel more confident in my experience as a marketer with an MBA under my belt. I don't need one, but to really move up the ladder I either need to start my own company or get an advanced degree. Or have friends in high places.

The other option, still, is to go to graduate school for interaction design. I'd enjoy this more, but I worry it's too focused in an area that has limited value if you don't know how to program well. I could learn a bit of programming on my own or in school, but I'll never be the programmer who moved into design. I'll also never be the programmer who moved into business management. It seems I'm already in trouble, not being a programmer and all.

I feel like I'm at a point in my life where I need to make a decision on this. I'm 26 now, and I'm not getting any younger. I've had a solid 5 years of work experience in non-profit, start-up, and large international corporate environments. I'm still not sure where I fit into the work world. I feel awkward in marketing, as I'm not super creative, nor am I brilliant with numbers, and I'm also shy in a field run by the outgoing. Most of all, I dislike "marketing" as a field where you must produce lies to sell a product that isn't as good as it could be, if the business was managed better and the consumers were actually listened to. Which leads me to thinking I really ought to run my own company. And I don't really need an MBA for that. I need an MBA if I want to be middle management. And I don't see myself as middle management. I know middle managers. They are great people, but a different breed of people. They are willing to do whatever it takes to reach their business targets. That's what capitalism is all about. A little lie, here and there. Make everyone want what you're selling, no matter how much it's "worth."

Is that where an MBA would lead me? I don't know if I have the stamina to lead, though I know in the long run I'll never have the heart to follow.

What do you think I should do?

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Off to My First Job Interview Since Being Laid Off

While I don't like to put all of my eggs in one basket, and surely have some small freelance gigs and the unemployment to keep me going, this job is the first "real" gig that is more than just a hope, so I want to at least nail the interview. I'm tired and a little nervous. I'll get more nervous when I get on the train and get to their corporate office in the city.

I'm not really nervous about the interview itself, just the chance that I say or do something embarrassing in the process of meeting with the four people. I've only been on one other serious interview before with more than one person, and that was for my last job. But that was for a 1099 contract role for 20 hours a week at the time, so it didn't feel as huge, and it was also for a startup so it was very laid back as far as interviews go.

This, however, is going to be as corporate of an interview as the west coast gets. I'm putting on my skirt-suit that I purchased last week at Express, and likely straightening my hair soon, to look as polished as possible, while not losing myself in my clothes entirely. I'm wearing a fairly bright blue shirt, but it works with the grey suit, I hope. They're not that corporate, it's a smallish team of mostly engineers and a few business folks.

On top of everything, I recently found out that this job is a "W2 Contract" position which means I'd basically be in a temporary position without the benefits of full-time (no paid vacation, sick days, benefits) even though I'd be W2 so I wouldn't have the flexibility of an independent contractor (have to work at the office 9-5:30 every week day.) It's definitely better than being unemployed and for such a big, known company it would probably be worth it for a year or so at least -- I can always take time off, I just won't get paid for it. And if something better comes along with benefits, no one could really fault me for leaving. I think the whole W2 thing is designed so you can leave easier as well. I'm not really thinking about that much now, I'm more thinking about how I have to nail this interview. I'd at least like to have one job offer to consider and take in the next few weeks, and this is looking like the only real potential to fulfill that goal.

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Layoffs Hit High Tech; Professional Dominatrixs on the Rise?

Even though the tech sector is still doing better than some other industries in the U.S., it's not immune to the current economic mess. As more companies report layoffs, demand for high-tech professionals is beginning to slide downward, according to statistics released this week.

Global outplacement consultancy Challenger, Gray & Christmas Wednesday released job cut totals for January, which prove the year-end trend to slash positions as a cost-cutting measure will continue into 2009. According to the firm, the number of planned job losses announced in January reached 241,749, which represents a 45% increase over December 2008 totals and 222% higher than the 74,986 cuts announced at the beginning of 2008, writes Network World.

Apparently with the layoffs comes an interesting career change for some women in high tech. The Daily Beast writer Tracy Quan reports on what becomes of Silicon Valley's finest post job loss. That is, women in tech, sans jobs, freelance in the - legal - sex industry to get by. As they say, when the going gets tough, the tough bring out whips and chains and scream "who's your mommy?"

Ok, they don't say that... but they might as well. "With staff jobs evaporating and former nine-to-fivers cobbling together incomes through scattered side projects, freelancing as a dominatrix -- or "pro-domme," as industry types prefer to call it -- has become a plausible gig option."

The pay is pretty good, and it beats being unemployed. The article refers to Jessica, a pro-domme in her late twenties, who apprenticed at a dungeon before striking out on her own. In Manhattan dungeons, she said, the typical cut on a $200 session is 60-40 in the dungeon's favor. So that's $80 an hour. Four times what I'm making working a legit marketing job in high tech.

Still, I can't quite bring myself to freelance in a dungeon. It's not that I couldn't yell at men and tell them worship me... it's just, I'd be terrified of someone I know, professionally or personally, finding out - or worse - meeting me with their testicles tied in a knot in my dungeon. Yea, that would be weird.

Would you ever consider legal sex work if you needed the cash, or have you ever done any of this kind of work? I've always been interested in working as a phone sex operator... seems like a pretty easy job. But I doubt the money is all that good, especially these days where everyone has the Internet.

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The Accidental Breadwinner: Some Women Have Their $hit Together

Thanks to The World of Wealth for pointing me to this fascinating NY Times article called "The Accidental Breadwinner."

Writer Karen Karbo details her three marriages, her long-ago dream to be taken care of by her breadwinner husband, and the reality of her making most of the dough in each of her marriages. She writes how a friend, whose husband made enough money to give her time off for a few years to "figure out her life" ended up with a cheating husband, stuck in a marriage in fear of now having enough money to live the life she's become accustomed to.

Karbo poses the question, "Is it better for the longevity of a marriage if one party (usually the woman) feels financially trapped?"

Well, yes. Marriage, just like any other business relationship, tends to survive longer the more complicated it is to get out of. But that isn't the kind of marriage I want to be in. Does it really take three marriages to get it right? Karbo sounds like she's found happiness now, with split incomes and an unromantic agreement on who pays for what (including who pays for who's kids.)

As I've written before, I'm worried about my current relationship because I'm the half of the duo motivated by money. That means my dreams of being the woman who works part time and takes care of the kids while my hubby brings home the bacon are all but dashed. Those dreams aren't real anyway, but they certainly are, in the back of my mind, what I expected. That's what happened to my mom. She went to school for fashion design and worked in the industry for 10 years, only to quit when I was born and become a housewife. And she's always been afraid to leave my father because, like Karbo's friend, she doesn't want to also leave the life she's grown accustomed to. The money she's used to spending. Even if she did get a job, she'd likely be earning minimum wage. At 50 something years old, how many raises can one expect before retirement age approaches?

I refuse to get stuck in a marriage that's destined for a situation like that. I'd rather be the breadwinner, accidental or predetermined. Still, my dream is a marriage where both parties bring in a sizable amount of income. My aunt and uncle are prime examples of that type of couple. The husband owns a one-man marketing firm, stays home, takes care of the kids, and still takes in six figures. The wife works as a marketing exec for a magazine, and also takes in six figures. Together, they own a nice house in a really nice neighborhood. That's the kind of life I dream of. I can only hope that Mr. Sweetheart will realize that asking for raises is an expected and acceptable part of being in the workforce.

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