Graduate School... Costs a Fortune Before You Get In

Forget the cost of tuition, room and board, the cost of applying to graduate school is fiercely staring at my quivering piggy bank like an angry honey badger ready to pounce on an unsuspecting snake long before I've even scribbled a sentence of my application essay.

To get into a top masters program -- MBA or otherwise -- you need to stand out for more than just your GPA. When your GPA makes you stand out for the wrong reasons, you're far behind the curve. It isn't clear if it's possible to run really fast and hard to make it over that hump (ie pay expert consultants a lot of money to teach you the right speed to run and how your feet should hit the ground every step of the way) but the consultants surely will tell you that without them, you'll be sitting down where you started, exhausted, looking up at a giant insurmountable lump of your future.

The cost for a live or online GMAT study program is somewhere around $1000 - $1400. There are cheaper programs, of course, and plenty of ways to get some books and study on your own, but many advise to take one of the classes if you're the kind of person to underachieve on standardized tests. But for the candidates who really want to do well, you can pour hundreds or thousands of dollars more into private tutoring... just so you'll break 700 or 750.

Consulting by admissions experts for the top programs is even more painful. One program I was examining the other night cost $3500 for a full package of help and edits to apply to just one school. Plenty may argue that putting $5000 - $10,000 into preparing yourself to apply for a top ranked program is worth it because on the other side of the hill... long after the field trips and late nights getting intimate with statistics... there's a miraculous salary increase that will improve your overall lifetime earnings by, well, something around a lot of money, give or take a decimal point. But that's IF you get in. All the coaching and test-taking advice in the world may never be enough. It's a gamble either way. And if you can do it on your own (obviously there are plenty of people who have got into top MBA programs without draining their savings on outside help) then why seek out an expert?

Looking at my semi-healthy bank account, I can't fathom draining my cash or stocks for this kind of coaching. And maybe that's why I'll never be an MBA student or even masters student. I figure, if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. And, meanwhile, am somewhat jealous of the people in the world that can afford such coaching, and their Harvard / Stanford / Wharton / Kellogg / Haas / Ross pedigree.

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Graduate School: Still an Option, But is it Worth It?

I'm not an academic. Since I was young, I couldn't focus in class, I rarely completed my homework, and while I supposedly had a lot of potential and was at once point dubbed "gifted" by the public school system, academia was never my forte.

So why, now that I've earned a college degree and made a career for myself, still long to return to the Ivy Tower? And what would I return for?

I'm still torn between options, including whether to apply at all. On a pure rational front, I'd be best off getting an MBA if I could manage to score high on the GMATs. At this point I think my experience has a shot at canceling out my less-than-exceptional undergraduate transcripts, but the GMAT would be a toughie.

But does an MBA even make sense for me? I've worked with many people who have MBAs, and many who don't. I've been managed by MBAs and I've been managed by engineers-turned-marketers and artists-turned-non-profit-owners-turned-business-women. I've been managed by people who get it and people who don't, people who succeed by pure luck and others by pure talent, and others who fail for all the wrong reasons. So why get an MBA?

Partially, I want to do it for myself to prove I can. It would look great on my resume (if I go to a top 10 school which, again, is not exactly an easy feat given my overall credentials.) I'd spend two years focused on learning about business -- and maybe I'd even learn something practical to apply in the real world. Mostly, I'd feel more confident in my experience as a marketer with an MBA under my belt. I don't need one, but to really move up the ladder I either need to start my own company or get an advanced degree. Or have friends in high places.

The other option, still, is to go to graduate school for interaction design. I'd enjoy this more, but I worry it's too focused in an area that has limited value if you don't know how to program well. I could learn a bit of programming on my own or in school, but I'll never be the programmer who moved into design. I'll also never be the programmer who moved into business management. It seems I'm already in trouble, not being a programmer and all.

I feel like I'm at a point in my life where I need to make a decision on this. I'm 26 now, and I'm not getting any younger. I've had a solid 5 years of work experience in non-profit, start-up, and large international corporate environments. I'm still not sure where I fit into the work world. I feel awkward in marketing, as I'm not super creative, nor am I brilliant with numbers, and I'm also shy in a field run by the outgoing. Most of all, I dislike "marketing" as a field where you must produce lies to sell a product that isn't as good as it could be, if the business was managed better and the consumers were actually listened to. Which leads me to thinking I really ought to run my own company. And I don't really need an MBA for that. I need an MBA if I want to be middle management. And I don't see myself as middle management. I know middle managers. They are great people, but a different breed of people. They are willing to do whatever it takes to reach their business targets. That's what capitalism is all about. A little lie, here and there. Make everyone want what you're selling, no matter how much it's "worth."

Is that where an MBA would lead me? I don't know if I have the stamina to lead, though I know in the long run I'll never have the heart to follow.

What do you think I should do?

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Are Certificate Programs Worth it?

My career counselor (who I've seen twice so far) wants me to take a class. She recommended an extension program based at a top University where I could take courses in business and marketing, and possibly complete the certificate program. The program is expensive and not something I want to invest in unless I'm sure I would complete it (I've been known to start things and not follow through, working on that as well.)

I could get a certificate in marketing or business administration, which would give me a solid pre-MBA education... more to see if I really want to pursue an MBA than help me obtain one (though it might help.) Each course is $600-$800 and then there are the text books. I realize graduate school is even more than that, but it's hard to justify spending that amount of money for a certificate. Especially when I could just buy the textbooks and read them on my own, if I was able to combat depression & ADD and muster up some motivation.

Have any of you ever done a certificate program? How much did you spend on it and was it worth it?

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Preparing to take the GMAT in 2010

I decided today that I am going to take the GMAT in October of 2010. It's too early to even sign up for a test date, but I'm going to start studying for the test. Worst case scenerio I decide to retake the GRE instead and my math skills have improved, or I end up in a job I love and I have no reason to go to grad school right now or ever, and I know a bit more about grammar and Algebra II.

But where do I start? I made a very strict study plan for the GREs (noting how many new words I needed to learn each day) and that lasted about a week before I threw myself off. With the GMAT, there is no date I "need" to take it, but I'd like to aim for October because that should be enough time to study -- really study -- without waiting too long that I'll just procrastinate and not study at all.

I'm not a smart person. But I'd like to see if it's possible to do well on a formulaic test without a high IQ.

Have you ever taken the GMAT? What study advice do you have?

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How long would it take to save $150k?

All of the graduate programs I'm looking at will cost about $150k for 2 or 3 years. Thus, I want to save $150k before applying. Is that possible? How long would it take to, realistically, save $150k?

If I cut out things I don't really need... voice lessons, dance class, gym membership, etc, I could get my monthly expenditures down significantly. Still, $150k is a lot of money.

I don't want to take out loans. I don't want to graduate from grad school in debt. That seems counterproductive to fiscal growth.

I have $30k saved now, though half of that is my retirement savings. Do I want to touch my retirement savings? At least that doesn't count towards my FAFSA AGI.

Ok, so to save $150k ...

$12500 / month for 12 months (1 year)
$6240 / month for 24 months (2 years)
$2500 / month for 60 months (5 years)
$1250 / month for 120 months (10 years)

I bet I could save $1250 a month, but that means I won't be going to graduate school until 2020. And by then, tuition will cost much more. So this saving up for my tuition seems impossible.

Right now I'm taking in between $3,000-$4,000 / month.

Cutting out all extraneous costs, $1250 / month would be possible to save.

But then... I won't be saving for retirement in the next 10 years. I won't be saving for anything else. And I won't be living life. Oh, and I won't be able to afford to have children. Which all kind of sucks.

How on earth does anyone justify graduate school (unless it's all paid for?) How does anyone justify any education (I can't believe how much my parents paid for my undergraduate degree!) Then again, at the time my dad was making over $200k / year, which, even after taxes, made it possible to cover my $120k undergraduate education. They really should have made me go to the equally--good state school that I got into that would have cost a lot less, but I'm glad they didn't.

Now, looking at my future, I'm trying to balance how much my career is worth versus being in debt for the rest of my life. I realized that I missed the mark in terms of my undergraduate major, though even with the right major I lacked the maturity at the time to make the most of my education. Not that I partied a lot or anything, I just didn't want to be there. I didn't know what I wanted. I felt like I had to be in college because that's what you do after high school. I didn't really know WHY I was there. To get a liberal arts education? To get a technical education? Yea, it wasn't clear. I got a taste of a few different things, but now I really need some sort of focused trade-school-esque education to get where I want in my career.

Speaking of, I'm contemplating seeing a career counselor to help me figure out where that is. I went to my career counselor in college quite a bit, but he wasn't much help. Maybe the ones that cost $100/hr are better? Apparently it's normal for an INFP like myself to spend way too much time thinking about all the possibilities without ever acting on them. So I just need some guidance. An adult guidance counselor. I'm starting to think I need that more than therapy. I mean, I know my issues. And yes, I can work on them all my life. The daughter of an upper-middle class everything-is-fine-with-our-family sociopath and a narcissist is bound to turn out a little messed up, right?

I'm just SO TIRED of living my life afraid of failure in the eyes of my parents. I'm looking forward to paying for my own education because then, even if they look down on me for my choice, or roll their eyes at it, I know it's coming out of my wallet. It's my education to make the most of, not theirs. Not theirs to waste, either.

I went to a new therapist this morning... a first meeting intended to place me into a group for group therapy. I'm very interested in group therapy because much of my issues, especially those relating to my ability to succeed, are rooted in my complete lack of ability to communicate. It is painful because I know I come off like this conceited bitch because I'm terrified of giving compliments even though in my head 99% of what I'm thinking is a compliment and 1% is "you could just tweak this one thing and everything would be even extra special great." How on earth do you say that without coming off like a suck up? Agggh.

Well, I know I've completely failed on the communication end in my current company. I've learned a lot from my mistakes, yet I still make them, and no one really wants to hear my thoughts anyway. Because they are often inspired by a gut feeling more than solid research, so their standpoint is beyond fair.

I just have concluded that ultimately I need to be in a job where I am a problem solver. I am always bursting with solutions and to not be allowed to say them (even though I often do anyway, to the disappointment of my coworkers) is suffocating. I know my ideas are not always right, but I love to collaborate and throw ideas out, bounce off other people, turn an idea into a solution.

I've spent my free time this week reading about countless masters programs. MBA programs. HCI programs. ID programs. Design masters programs. With a foundation year for people who didn't major in design in undergrad. International programs. Online programs. Part-time programs. Dual degree programs. Weekend and evening programs. Programs that can only be completed if you stand on your head and clap five times while hunting wild boars. (Okay, okay, I haven't found that last one... yet.) I am overwhelmed by all the options and the potential cost of all those options. Any of those options.

All the stress is enough to have me retreat into the status quo forever. And maybe that's what I'll do. Or maybe I don't need grad school to do what I want. Maybe if I can just believe in myself enough I can take a few design classes, get a portfolio together, and shift my career trajectory. I don't know. I'm obviously more confused than ever. It's the typical quarter life crisis. Except I kind of know what I want. Or at least I know I want to be solving problems. To be in charge of solving problems. Creatively. I'm most comfortable as a leader, not a follower, but I need a team of equals. I wish I had some realistic support. I won't get any from my parents and my boyfriend doesn't understand the financial consequences of grad school... his mother is going to pay for him to get a graduate degree if he doesn't get a full ride (his undergrad education was much cheaper than mine, so it makes sense that his mom still has money left over for his graduate education.)

I just wish someone sat down with me in senior year of high school and forced me to take a year off and work before going to college. I wish someone explained why despite "liberal arts" magical allure, ultimately you should be using college to get the skills you need for a job. A job that you'll actually like. Not just one you're qualified for because you have a BA.

Anyway, that's enough rant for tonight. I hate that I always sound so spoiled. I just want to pay my way through graduate school, work hard, and feel like I own my successes and my failures. I want to own... me.

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