Oct 4, 2009

Everyone is Getting Married!

Is it just me, or is everyone getting married? I guess now is the age for white poofy dresses and walking down the aisle and saying I do. In a few weeks I'm flying out to my friend's wedding back east. On Facebook I see messages of old classmates saying that they're off to their honeymoons.

Me? Well, I've been dating the same guy for 3.5 years. But we're not engaged. We've joked about getting married, I like to send him pictures of engagement rings I like, often with $1M+ diamonds in them, just for kicks. But we're not seriously considering it any time soon.

I don't feel ready to be a wife. But I wonder at what point in life I will feel ready, if ever. I also would love to be able to afford a nice wedding, and I have to figure out a way to be rich before that.

When did you get married or do you plan to get married? How did you know it was the right time for you? How old were you?


Anna said...

23, a few months ago. I kinda always wanted it.

Marriage means different things for different people. Many people move in together and basically live as if they were married, except legally they're not (so you don't get to decide if your spouse is in a coma, you don't inherit from each other,...). That doesn't work for me - I'm more of an "all or nothing" girl and once the relationship is serious enough, marriage is the only option for me (also, no sex or long time living together without marriage). I expect financial and legal commitment. So the right time came after 2 years in a great relationship.

I'm not sure it helps you, it's just my two cents that work for me.

me in millions said...

I'm 26 and not married. And not even close. Facebook sucks because people can post their pictures of marriage and weddings and make it look like roses and rainbows, even when it's not. And they can use it to rub it in your face. One of my fb friends from high school must have waited until after she got married to friend a ton of people and I was one of the lucky ones. Barf.

The sad thing is that I want to find my future husband and get married more than anything and it just doesn't seem to be happening for me. It's a bummer.

ro said...

I got married when I was 25 after dating for a year and a half. We just knew it was the right time, it is hard to explain, since we started dating we both knew that we were going to be together. We had a beautiful small wedding, including some rain, and much laughter. It was small but filled with family and close friends. We did not wanted a big wedding, and we paid for it too. We chose to save our pennies and buy a house with 20% down and 15 year mortgage than pay for a fancy reception.
It is a couples choice after all.

Anna said...

Ro: I had a smell wedding too - our choice and we don't regret it at all.

We meant to share this day with our loved ones, not rub anything in anybody's face. I'm sorry it makes you feel like that, Me in Millions.

her every cent counts said...

hey everyone - thanks for your comments. Glad to hear I'm not the only one who is 25 and not married yet. For some people, meeting the right person happens in their 30s or 40s or never, and it's not the end of the world. I just kind of feel ready, which is funny coming from me, because if you asked me a few years ago and I would have said I'm never getting married.

I don't know if I want a small or large wedding. I used to really want a large one. My mom will definitely want a large one, so it's kind of unavoidable. I have a pretty big Jewish distant family who we'll invite... my Bat Mitzvah was pretty big when I was 12, so my wedding prob will be too unless all those relatives died off. I'm definitely less interested in going to debt over it, though.

Mrs. Accountability said...

Let's see... I got married the first time when I was 23. We were pregnant. We'd only known each other three months, although I'd known his family for the previous two years (his mother thought we'd be perfect together). The second time, I was 44. It was 15 years to the day we were divorced. Yes, I married the same guy twice. That he'd sobered up and kicked his alcoholism for ten years made all the difference in the world. Our children were very happy to have their parents together again. :-) Both our sons were over 18 so they signed the marriage certificate as witnesses. I was a princess that day, I was floating for days and days. The second wedding was better than the first, and we did it for $3000 (after gifts $100 net).

Slinky said...

It does seem to be wedding fever with me too, but I'm also 25. One friend last year, one the year before that, one next year, and mine next year too.

For me, the right time came when I had the right guy, but I also wanted to do it right. So I declared that we couldn't get married until I graduated college and was working for a year. This was for both monetary and personal reasons. I recently hit my one year anniversary at work and I'm planning to go sign the reception location contract this week. :) We're also planning to have the wedding we want paid for in cash.

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