Millionaire Matchmaker - Bravo's Latest "Reality" Show

If you haven't had a change to catch Bravo's latest reality show: Millionaire Matchmaker, you're not missing much. Take a bitchy Yenta from New Jersey, Patti Stranger, whose entire life is dedicated to helping super-wealthy men find the girl of his dreams. Surely it makes for a good business. She charges anywhere from $10,000 to $150,000 a year to hook up the hotties and the notties (oh god, did I just quote a Paris Hilton movie title?).

The men who appeared on the television show were actually fairly attractive, but one has to assume for every attractive-yet-single millionaire willing to appear on TV, there's another ten whose reflection would likely crack mirrors.

Overall, the show greatly offended me. The men, surprisingly enough, did not offend me at all. Sure they wanted women who were perfect everything and had unreasonable expectations, but what really got me is this woman, Patti, has no freaking clue what men actually want. She thinks she does, of course. Being that the matchmaking service is LA-based, looks matter a lot (even more than they would elsewhere.) At the beginning of the show they film her going through a series of headshots and she says "definitely not" to a women who is wearing glasses. You can't see the photo up close, but the women certainly doesn't look fugly. She just doesn't have a glamor shot like some of the other girls. Given the right makeup, hair stylist and photographer, her pic would probably look just as "hot" as these other girls.

Meanwhile, this women definitely has a very narrow concept of attractiveness (ironically, she's very unattractive). Redheads? They're out. She even asked a redhead if she'd dye her hair brown.

The only thing I'll give them credit for is that they did want to get women with an education. In the end, though, this proved difficult. And too much education wasn't good either. They'd take women of top-notch pedigree (a graduate of the Ivies, etc) but not someone who used Dr. in front of their name while introducing herself.

Episode one featured two men... #1 "Sex Toy Dave" - a millionaire who made bank by selling - you guessed it - sex toys. On the Internet. His snazzy house featured such things as a view and a stripper pole in the middle of the living room (awesome). Of course, Patti wanted the stripper pole gone. Her interior designer suggested moving all sex related things to a "sex toy room."

Ultimately the gal Dave picked, who I must say was actually a relatively good choice for him, was not offended by the stripper pole (though she was a little good two shoes and was slightly off put by it. She wouldn't try it out herself.)

Meanwhile, the other guy was an older (46 year old) options trader. A Yale grad. He was a bit disillusioned with the type of gal he should be with. Patti wants to get these guys "younger" girls, but not with a 20 year age difference.

But her method of natural selection seems to go against this. She put the two men in a room with a dozen or so women and let them all have at it. The most impressive women got asked out on solo dates with the two guys.

Mr. Options Trader picked out a very hot, young brunette with blue eyes. Sex Toy Dave chose a women who seemed really cool. She had the Ivy pedigree, a great smile, she was laid back, and pretty but not in a porn star sort of way.

Still, in the end the pair didn't work out. He was too much of a party boy for her.

I don't really understand why these men spend thousands upon thousands of dollars asking this woman to find the perfect women for them. Maybe they'll get laid (though that's against the rules until they're in a committed relationship) but find the perfect woman, i'm not so sure.

First off, any women who wants to be in the "Millionaire's Club" is in it for the wrong reasons. Unless you literally find women on normal dating sites and think they're perfect for someone rich, and ask them to join the "club" without the intention of marrying rich, you will get gold diggers and more gold diggers. Do these men really want that? Eh, maybe they do. They have all this money and sometimes it's nice to spend it on designer clothes for your special lady. I guess.

I think if it weren't for Patti, this show wouldn't be quite so offensive to me. But she's just a nightmare. She wants the men to change for women who she think would make good wives and mothers. What ever happened to pay someone to find someone who might like you for the way you are? Or... you know... just find them.

Patti's club website: The Millionaire's Club, is subtitled: Where successful men come to meet their beautiful and intelligent wives as girlfriends. Honestly, the site looks skanktastic. It's one step above escort service.